There it is! In the corner of my eye, a purple hippopotamus with blue ears, except it’s tiny – kitten size. I’m sure this isn’t normal. I stop in the middle of my shopping, close my eyes and take a deep breath in and out.
Last night it was singing, like Tom Cruise in Risky Business, on my kitchen work top. I was in the hallway, passed the kitchen on my way to bed. I decided to ignore it and turned the lights off.
The day before, I caught it using my toothbrush. It made no sense. Hippos only have four teeth. I suppose they still need to clean them but with my toothbrush.
It’s been following me around for weeks. Not a day goes by without it lounging in my chair, sleeping in my sofa, playing peak-a-boo behind my laptop.
I open my eyes, look down the Tesco aisle – Pasta and Rice. I need spaghetti. No hippo. Where has the purple little thing got to now? You close your eyes for one second and the bloody thing wanders off. ‘Good riddance!’ I think as I walk down the aisle, pick up a pack of durum spaghetti.
There it is again, doing samba steps down the aisle, all innocent.
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